FAQ'S

Frequently Asked Questions

Listed below are some frequently asked questions the agency answers in detail when you click on the hyperlink text. We will be updating these questions and answers periodically, and you are encouraged to write, call, or e-mail Adoption Access, Inc. for additional information or to request an Adoptive Parent Application Packet.

How do we pick an agency?
Why should we use an agency?
How long will it take? Is it faster and/or easier than international adoptions?
Who can adopt?
What does adoption cost? If my birthmother decides to parent, do I loose any or all of my fee?
What are open, semi-open, and closed adoption?
Do we have to live in Texas to work with Adoption Access, Inc.?

What are my legal rights?
          (a)Birth Parents
          (b)Adoptive Parents
What are the risks?
          (a)Legal
          (b)Financial
          (c)Emotional
Do I have to find my own birthmother?
What is a homestudy?
How are Birthparents and Adoptive Parents "matched"?
Can we choose the sex of our child?
What does the Adoptive Parent know about the Birthparents?
Is there HIV, drug, and alcohol testing on the birthparents or the child?
How many Birthparents decide to parent their child?
What services does Adoption Access, Inc. offer?

How do we pick an agency?

Adoption agencies vary widely in philosophies, personalities, services, number of children available, and criteria for accepting adoptive parents. An agency should be willing and able to communicate clearly to you about any questions or concerns you have about the adoption process.

Some agencies do not work with families out of state. It is very important to educate yourself thoroughly about any agency you are considering. An agency should be willing to provide you with current references and with the name and phone number of their state licensing representative. Adoption Access, Inc. is an agency licensed by the State of Texas for placement of children. We can work with adoptive parents living in any state other than New York. Interstate compact regulations prevent us from placing children in that state.

Some agencies are religiously affiliated or restrict certain religions. Adoption Access, Inc. welcomes adoptive parents and birthparents of all religions. We are not religiously affiliated, and we neither promote nor discourage the practice of any religion. Most birthparents are interested in families with good spiritual values, but they are rarely adamant for or against a specific religion.

Age requirements vary from agency to agency, and some do not accept applicants under the age of 40. However, Adoption Access only requires that one member of the couple be between the ages of 25 and 52. Our average age of adoptive parents is 35 to 45 years of age.

Agencies may have restrictions regarding divorce, number of children already in the home, or income level. Adoption Access, Inc. works with families who have experienced divorce and also with those who have biological children. Each family is evaluated on an individual basis. There is not a required income level, though proof of financial stability is required.

The cost of adoption is dependent upon the services provided. Does your agency provide the birthmother to you, or does your agency require that you provide your own birthmother? What services are provided to the birthmother and what services are provided to the adoptive parents? The important consideration in cost is to determine what is actually included in the fee. An agency may appear to have a low fee, but the actual expense may be far higher when adoptive parents are asked to cover expenses over and above the agency fee. You should ask if the agency fee covers all medical, hospital, legal, and birthmother expenses. You should ask what will happen to your adoption fee if a birthmother decides to parent. Is any or a portion of your adoption fee at risk? In the State of Texas, a licensed agency may provide assistance to birthmothers for living expenses. This can include rent, utilities, groceries, transportation, and clothing. At Adoption Access, Inc. the adoptive family is not responsible for any expenses incurred or paid on a birthmother who chooses to parent and does not place. None of the adoption fee is at risk if the placement does not go through for any reason. Your money is guaranteed, and it goes directly to the next possible situation available to you.

Some agencies require that one adoptive parent be unemployed and/or able to stay home with an infant. At Adoption Access, Inc. we do not require that one parent be a full-time homemaker, only that sufficient child care plans are in place.

If you would like more information about Adoption Access, Inc. please call our Operations Director Brooke Mizell at 1-800-FREE-HUG (1-800-373-3484). We will be happy to answer questions over the telephone and send you written information regarding the agency. We have offices in Dallas, Fort Worth, Houston, Austin, San Antonio, El Paso and East Texas.

Why should we use an agency?

A licensed agency is regulated by the state and must comply with standards set by governing boards in individual states. These standards are designed to protect birthparents, adoptive parents, and the children placed for adoption. Attorneys are neither required to meet licensing standards nor are they required to provide counseling to birthparents. This could affect the stability of the placement. Solid placements are made when it is determined that an adoptive placement is in the best interest of all members of the adoption triad. Good social work is imperative for successful placements. None of the highly publicized cases of children returned to birthparents were facilitated by a licensed agency.

At Adoption Access birthfathers whose whereabouts are unknown are common, but we do attempt to locate all birthfathers. Adoptive parents may set as a parameter of their match with birthparents a birthfather who will sign or can be found to be legally served. Your agency should be willing to accommodate your comfort level regarding your parameters. If you are comfortable with a match involving an unknown or unobtainable birthfather, you may wait a shorter time because you are potentially open to more matches.

Relinquishments in the state of Texas, taken by a licensed agency, are irrevocable, permanent and final at signing. The signing of the relinquishment is done no earlier than 48 hours after birth.

In Texas recently the courts denied a birthfather his rights when it was determined that the birthmother had lied about the identity of the birthfather. The agency had followed the correct termination procedures given the information they had, and the courts upheld the termination of the biological parents rights, even though it was later discovered that the rights of the wrong man had been terminated. The true biological birthfather upon learning of the birth of the child filed for custody, and was refused. The bottom line is there are always some risks in adopting, but these risks can be minimized by dealing with professionals who specialize only in adoption and who are expected to follow specific guidelines. Many thousands of adoptions take place every year without problems, and with much joy for families who have pursued this option to building their families.

How long will it take? Is it faster and/or easier than international adoptions?

Many agencies have a waiting list of 2 to 5 years. Some agencies will not give you any estimated time frame. Ask your agency what their waiting time is and how they arrived at that figure. For example, if your requirements are a newborn Caucasian child, be specific about your requirements when asking for an estimated waiting time. Adoption Access places children of all ethnicities, and also older children. We currently estimate a waiting time of 3 months to 1 year for newborns. The wait time is dependent on the parameters that adoptive parents set for their match, as well as the parameters of the birthparents. As a Texas agency, Adoption Access, Inc. has a large number of Hispanic birthmothers and for families considering traveling to Latin America, this can be a much easier alternative.

Who can adopt?

Some agencies are religiously affiliated or restrict some religions. Adoption Access welcomes adoptive parents and birthparents of all religions. We are not religiously affiliated and neither promote nor discourage the practice of any religion. Most birthparents are interested in families with good spiritual values, but are rarely adamant for or against a specific religion.

Age requirements vary from agency to agency also. Adoption Access, Inc. requires that one member of the couple be 52 or younger. Some agencies may not accept adoptive parents under 40. Our average age of adoptive parents is 35 to 45 years of age.

Agencies may have restrictions regarding divorce, number of children already in the home, or income level. Adoption Access, Inc. works with families who have experienced divorce and often have biological children. Each family is worked with on an individual basis. There is not a required income level, although proof of financial stability is required.

Some agencies do not work with families out of state. Adoption Access, Inc. works with families in every state except New York. ICPC regulations prevent us from placing children in those states. We work closely with agencies in other states to do homestudies on families that apply with us and do not live in Texas.

Single parents are not prohibited from adopting at Adoption Access, Inc. but a birthparent will often be reluctant to choose a single parent. This may result in a longer waiting time. Greater flexibility, i.e. open to a full Hispanic as well as a full Caucasian child would greatly decrease the waiting time.

What does adoption cost? If my birthmother decides to parent, do I loose any or all of my fee?

The cost of adoption is dependent upon the services provided. Does your agency provide the birthmother to you, or does your agency require that you provide your own birthmother? What services are provided to the birthmother and what services are provided to the adoptive parents? The important consideration in cost is to determine what is actually included in the fee. An agency may appear to have a low fee, but the actual expense may be far higher when adoptive parents are asked to cover expenses over and above the agency fee. You should ask if the agency fee covers all medical, hospital, legal, and birthmother expenses. You should ask what will happen to your adoption fee if a birthmother decides to parent. Is any or all of your adoption fee at risk? In the State of Texas, a licensed agency may provide assistance to birthmothers for living expenses. This can include rent, utilities, groceries, transportation and clothing. At Adoption Access, the adoptive family is not responsible for any expenses paid for a birthmother who chooses to parent and does not place.

The application fee for Texas residents is $2,650. This covers the cost of your homestudy and post-placement services, as well as application administrative duties. The application fee for non-Texas-residents is $1,650. If you are an out-of-state adoptive applicant, you must provide a homestudy from your state of residence in addition to the application fee. This can be done by an adoption agency in your area. We will work with the person doing your homestudy to ensure that it meets Texas standards. Your application fee is turned in with a completed application, all documentation required, and a photo album. The photo album is how the birthmother will first be introduced to your family.

Adoption Access focuses on counseling with our birthparents to explore the placement plan on an individual basis. We ask them not to choose an adoptive family until they are feeling as sure of their decision as they are able. We do not match a birthmother until her counselor also feels she is ready. We rarely match until a birthmother's seventh, eighth, or even ninth month. After the adoptive parents are given all background information available, and most often have a meeting with the birthparents, they are asked to make a decision about the match. If the match is accepted, the adoption fee is due at that time. The adoption fee is $44,000 for both out of state families and Texas residents. We do have special situations, in which we consider an infant or child "hard to place". This usually means that we do not have an adoptive family waiting which meets the parameters for a specific match. In this case, we can offer a "hard to place" fee.

For a fully Hispanic child the fee would be $37,400. For a biracial (African-American/Caucasian) child the fee would be 28,600. For a full African-American child the fee would be $22,000. Any family whose total household income exceeds $200,000 will be required to pay the full fee regardless of the ethnicity of the child. The current adoption fee is subject to change at anytime. If the fee is changed prior to you being matched, you will be notified immediately.

The adoption fee covers HIV, drug and alcohol testing on the birthmother, all prenatal and postnatal care, all medical and hospital charges associated with the birth of the child that are not covered by private insurance or Medicaid, all necessary prescriptions and medications, assistance to birthmothers as allowed by licensing and as needed for rent, utilities, groceries, personal hygiene needs, transportation to counseling and doctors appointments, maternity clothes, all court filing fees and attorney fees for the termination of the birthparents rights. Post-placement visits in Texas would be covered by this fee, as well as an updated homestudy if necessary. Texas standards require your homestudy to be updated within six months of the placement. All administrative fees are covered and the execution of an interstate compact is done for out of state parents. The finalizing of the adoption is the responsibility of the adoptive parents. The cost of the finalization is around $1100-$2000, depending on the attorney you use.

Additional fees that could be expected for out of state parents would include travel expenses prior to birth to meet birthparents, and travel to Texas at the birth of the child. Out of state families must plan to stay in the state of Texas after they receive their child for approximately 7 to 10 days. This is the time necessary to execute the Interstate Compact. The family will also need to return to Texas to finalize their adoption six months after placement. Finally, post-placement visits and an updated homestudy, if necessary, are done at the expense of out-of-state adoptive parents.

Medical conditions may cause expenses in excess of a normal vaginal delivery. This is most typically a cesarean section delivery, or minor medical problems. Adoptive parents will not incur any additional expenses in these cases. You would probably not accept serious medical problems. Your insurance should be checked out prior to adopting to determine when they will pick up the baby's expenses. Your adoption fee covers well baby expenses (expenses normally incurred at the hospital with birth) and may be reimbursable to you. You may also be able to deduct some expenses on your tax returns. You would need to ask your CPA. This is a young healthy population and we strive to ensure they receive excellent prenatal care, including good nutrition, sonograms to determine developmental abnormalities, and care from board certified OB/GYN's.

If a birthmother changes her mind and decides not to place her child, none of the adoption fee is at risk. Approximately 10% of our birthmothers do change their minds. This is an excellent rate for an adoption agency, but if you are part of the 10% then it becomes 100%. We can protect you financially, but not always emotionally. Your entire fee is applied to the next match, and you are at the top of our list for a match. You become a priority for the agency to match, assuming you feel ready also.

It is not uncommon for adoptive parents (and even birthmothers) to ask why adoption is so expensive. The expenses of an adoption agency are very high, especially when 40% of the young women who come to us do not make a placement plan. Most of that 40% will never choose or meet adoptive parents, but they may truly need our services. In effect, part of every family's fees pays for these services. We may enter a court battle with a birthfather at the request of a birthmother and incur significant expenses. The child may be in one of our foster homes for many months. Our "hard to place" children may have high expenses and still a low adoption fee. Additionally, the agency has counselors on call 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. We also facilitate ongoing contact for over 1,000 birth and adoptive family members. The advertising and administrative costs are also considerable, and again, a portion of each family's fees are designated for this type of expense.

What are open, semi-open, and closed adoptions?

Sometimes these terms are used loosely. It is important to know your agencies definitions and policies. Adoption Access, Inc. does not do completely closed adoptions unless the birthparents are requesting this. We find that birthparents normally need some information about the child to heal from the grief and loss they are experiencing. Adoption Access requires that families be willing to send pictures and letters through the agency for a minimum of two years, if requested by birthparents. First names are used and identifying information is not shared. These are our definitions:

OPEN ADOPTION: This type of adoption involves birthparents and adoptive parents exchanging full names, addresses and phone numbers, and most often setting up ongoing contact. They may have face to face contact, or it may be in verbal or written form. The boundaries are set by the birth and adoptive families. We do not do many completely open adoptions, as most of our families do not desire this type of arrangement. We will work with birth and adoptive families who do want this relationship. The setting of appropriate boundaries is an important step in this type of adoption.
SEMI-OPEN ADOPTION: This is by far the most prevalent type of adoption done at Adoption Access, and best reflects our philosophy. The birthmother and hopefully birthfather choose one of the families that is presented to them by their counselor. She will show several photo albums and present the families from information gathered from their homestudy, application, etc. The birthparents do not themselves read homestudies, applications, etc. The family is informed and given all information about these birthparents. If they are interested in pursuing this match, a meeting is usually set up. The counselor is present at all times to keep everyone comfortable, and to preserve confidentiality. First names only are used, and any other identifying information is not shared. Your birthmother may ask you to be in labor and delivery. You may or may not want to be this involved. These are individual decisions that are unique to each situation. Ongoing contact is rarely face to face. Occasionally a birthparent will ask to meet with you once after placement. Normally ongoing contact is through the agency and involves pictures and letters for a set amount of time. The agency requires that adoptive parents be willing to send pictures and letters for a minimum of two years. This is usually numerous times in the first year, and two or three times per year after that. A number of birthparents will request pictures for longer than two years. If a family is willing to do more, they will have more matches available to them. Some birthparents will not want ongoing contact. The adoptive parents need to identify to the agency what parameters they are comfortable setting.
CLOSED ADOPTION: This type of adoption involves no interaction between adoptive parents and birthparents. The agency is asked by the birthparents to choose the family, or may perhaps want to choose the family themselves, but will not want to meet. They will not want the family at the hospital usually, and will not request any ongoing contact. This is not common, although it does occur. Adoption Access, Inc. does not accept families who are only comfortable with completely closed adoptions. Most of the birthparents need information about how their child is doing to process the normal grief and loss feelings associated with a placement.

Do we have to live in Texas to work with Adoption Access, Inc.?

Adoption Access works with families in every state except New York. Interstate Compact regulations prevent us from working with those states. We coordinate with the agency or social worker in your area to facilitate the adoption. This is usually, but not always, the person who has done your homestudy. We will work with he or she to bring your homestudy to Texas standards, to update your homestudy if it is dated longer than six months prior to placement, and to conduct any follow-up visits that may be required by Texas law.

Out of state families should be prepared for several trips to Texas during the adoption process. One visit will probably be necessary to meet your birthmother. You will come when your child is born, and one of the parents must stay for approximately 7 to 10 business days. This is the time necessary to receive approval to leave the state from the Interstate Compact office in your state. Additionally you will need to return to Texas in 6 months to finalize the adoption.

What are my legal rights?

(a)Birth Parents (b)Adoptive Parents

There are two lawsuits that are filed in an adoption. One is to terminate the parental rights of the birthparents and the second is to finalize the adoption. Our attorney will represent the agency in the termination of the parental rights. In the State of Texas, the birthparents are not required to attend any hearing regarding their rights. This is because the court accepts the waiving of their rights, which is requested in the Relinquishment signed by both or one of the birthparents.

The agency will terminate a birthfather's rights without a signed Relinquishment or Waiver with notification of the Paternity Registry. The Paternity Registry requires a birth father to register voluntarily within 31 days of a child's birth if he wants to parent. He is charged by law with knowledge of the possibility of a child by having had a sexual relationship with the mother. If he has not responded to the Paternity Registry within 31 days of birth, the agency can set the termination hearing. If a birth father registers, an attorney will be appointed by the court to defend him, if he is indigent. The agency will rarely fight any case in which the birth father responds.

The birth mother's and the birth father's rights are terminated in the same hearing. Once a termination hearing is complete, the birth parents (either one or both) have 30 days to file a motion for a new hearing. If the motion is granted the judge could change the order set in the first termination hearing. If the judge denies the motion to re-open they can have up to 90 days to appeal. The burden would be on them to show fraud, misrepresentation, duress or over-reaching on the part of the agency.

Often people wonder who can file motions in the case (biological grandparents, especially). Before the initial termination of the parental rights, anyone can file a motion. Grandparents can file an "intervention", in which they could request custody or visitation. This would bring forth a Judge's decision (it could possibly not even go to trial). After the termination hearing, grandparents have no legal rights to file any motions. At the termination hearing the agency becomes the managing conservator.

The second lawsuit that is filed in an adoption is the suit to finalize the adoption. This occurs once the child has been in the home 6 months. In this hearing, the judge awards permanent managing conservatorship to the adoptive parents and they have all of the legal rights and responsibilities a biological parent would have.

What are the risks?

(a)Legal (b)Financial (c)Emotional

The legal risks are normally very small, but the media has made us very aware that they do exist. Your agency should be able to fully explain the details of your birthparents to you and their response to the adoption process. There are red flags and situations with unknowns. You may be more comfortable exploring a more risky match situation than your spouse. Communication with your agency is very important.

Financial exposure varies widely from agency to agency and should be clearly reviewed. You should make yourself a checklist of possible expenses and ask what specifically is not covered by your fee. Adoption Access, Inc. has a $2,650.00 non-refundable application fee for Texas residents, and a non-refundable $1,650 application fee for non-Texas residents. This includes administrative and social work done to facilitate adoptive parents through the approval process, including the homestudy, unless you are out of state then you must provide your own homestudy. The adoption fee is paid in full at the time that the adoptive parents accept a match. This is in the birthmother's seventh, eighth or ninth month, as decided by the birthmother and/or her counselor. If the placement does not go through, the adoptive family does not lose any of their adoption fee. The entire fee is applied to the next match, and the family goes to the top of the list as a priority family to be matched.

Texas law provides that a relinquishment of parental rights taken by a licensed child-placing agency is permanent, final and irrevocable at the signing. This is done no earlier than 48 hours after birth. A birthparent would have to hire an attorney and ask for a trial, and attempt to prove misrepresentation, duress, or fraud if they attempted to reclaim a child after signing a relinquishment. If a birthparent decides to parent and not sign a relinquishment, the counselor will support the birthparent in any decision they make. Social work ethics would not permit any other response. They cannot be an advocate for both of you, and they are often part of this young woman's support system. As social workers they will work with the birthparent to connect them to appropriate resources for parenting. The agency realizes the family is often devastated. We will do all we can to prevent these painful situations, but adoption is not without risk.

90% of our families who are matched with birthparents have successful adoptions. 10% of our placements fail, almost always at the hospital when the birthmother or birthfather sees the baby. The decision is so difficult and takes a very mature person to go through with it. 10% is a great rate for an adoption agency, but we know if you're part of that 10%, it's a 100% for you.

The bright side is that unlike infertility, adoption will have a happy ending. It's not if, it really is when. Although the media has reported little positive news about adoption, it has made people aware of adoption. We are finding more young women than ever choosing adoption as a viable alternative to an unplanned pregnancy.

Adoption Access has never had an adoption overturned. We are advocates of the birthmother and make absolutely certain she is clear and comfortable about her decision to place before she signs her legal documents. Birthfathers are involved in the process whenever possible and legally terminated whether involved or not according to Texas law. Texas now has a Paternity Registry that requires a birth father to register voluntarily within 31 days of a child's birth if he wants legal rights to that child. He is charged by law with knowledge of the possibility of a child by having had a sexual relationship with the mother.

Do I have to find my own birthmother?

No, you do not have to find your own birthmother; however we are offering families the option of advertising for their birthmothers to save either time or money or both. This is not required. It is simply an option. This could be done in either of the following two ways:

Agency Advertising:
A family currently approved by the agency may chose to spend additional funds to advertise for a birthmother. They are guided in the process and a counselor on staff with the agency answers the 800 number advertised for them. A birthmother who places through this avenue would be matched with the family placing the ad if she met their parameters and vice versa. If she placed with another family, the advertising family would move up the list to that spot. If she did not place, all expenses accrued by her would be the responsibility of the agency.

Designated Adoption:
This option is potentially less expensive but carries greater risk. A family, again with our guidance, advertises for a birthmother. The family uses an 800 number they have installed in their home and would be taking the birthmother calls directly. Once they connected with a potential birthmother, they would contact the agency and a counselor would begin working with the birthmother. The fee is $15,000 plus "hard costs" which could be considerably less depending on the birthmother's needs. For instance, if she were eligible for Medicaid, she might have negligible medical expenses. With this option it is important to understand that the family assumes the risk of losing funds spent on a birthmother's expenses, if she does not end up placing. Half of the $15,000 is not at risk, but expenses spent on the birthmother are at risk.

If you are interested in either of these options, please contact our Director, Ashley Hug for more information.

What is a homestudy?

A homestudy is in effect a study of your home and family by a licensed social worker. Your homestudy is required by state licensing standards to cover a number of topics from safety issues in your home to the financial stability of your family. You provide much of the information for the homestudy in your application and your autobiographies. You will be provided an outline for the autobiographies. You would then typically have one or more visits from a licensed social worker in your area. In Texas only one visit is required. You must comply with the standards of your state. The homestudy can take from 3 weeks to several months to complete, depending on your agency. Out of state applicants must provide a homestudy to Adoption Access along with their application. We then work with the social worker who did the homestudy to bring it into compliance with Texas standards. Prices vary widely for homestudies, and you will have to check with agencies in your area. In Texas, the application fee includes the homestudy.

A homestudy should be seen more as an educational process than a judgmental one. Often people are terrified of the homestudy when there is little need to be. The truth is you're the people in our society who ought to be parents. You have proven yourselves to be stable in your careers, marriages and finances through the homestudy, and you are so ready to parent. This is probably the best foundation a child could have in life.

How are Birthparents and Adoptive Parents "matched"?

At Adoption Access our adoptive parents and birthmothers are matched according to the specifications and requirements of both the adoptive parents and the birthmothers. A birthmother will be presented with the three adoptive families, through their photo albums that have been waiting the longest and that meet her specifications. If there is any question about the probability of an adoptive family accepting a particular birthmother, the adoptive family will be consulted prior to the showing of their photo album to a birthmother.

At Adoption Access we try very hard to provide extensive counseling to our birthmothers and rarely match birth and adoptive parents before the seventh, eighth or ninth month. The timing depends on the birthmother and her counselor agreeing that she is ready for that decision. We ask her to delay choosing a family until she is as sure of her decision as she is able to be. She is always aware that she can change her mind until she signs the relinquishment. The relinquishment is signed no sooner than 48 hours after birth.

The birthparents do not read the homestudies, applications or autobiographies of the prospective adoptive parents. They view the photo albums as the counselor presents information on the families to them. The counselor gets her information from those sources and if at possible from meeting you.

Normally the family that is chosen comes to Texas to meet with one or both of the birthparents, and sometimes their families as well. Only first names are used at this meeting, and the counselor is there the entire time to keep confidentiality and to make everyone feel comfortable. Either family can accept the match or decide against it.

Adoptive parents let the agency know what their parameters are for a match and will include information such as ethnic preference, types of birthfather situations they would consider, if smoking or drinking during the pregnancy is acceptable, and many more. If you identify you will consider a certain situation, for example a "date rape" situation, this does not mean you are accepting this match. It means you are willing to explore the particulars of this individual match. There are no "black marks" for turning down a match situation. We respect that you are in the best position to determine the situation that is going to be a good fit for you, your spouse, your immediate family, your extended family and your neighborhood and community. You do not go to the bottom of the list if you turn a match down. The more candid you are with the agency on the decisions you make, the better they can present you with match possibilities in the future.

Some of the parameters that birthparents have identified have included a family without other children; a family with other children; a certain religion; not to have a certain religion; no ongoing contact after placement; contact after placement consisting of pictures and letter through the agency up to 18 years. Some birthmothers have asked for both adoptive parents to be in labor and delivery. The requests are unique as are the individuals involved in each placement. Some birthparents ask for very little. They are only concerned about finding someone who will love and care for their child, and who will let their child know they were loved.

Can we choose the sex of our child?

Although we always do a sonogram on our birthmothers, they do not always tell us the sex of a baby. In addition they are not always correct when they do tell us a specific sex. We could not have a birthmother turned down at the hospital if a child arrived with the wrong equipment. Therefore if adoptive parents are firm about the sex of the child, we must be very sure or wait to match until after the child is born. The result is usually a much longer wait time as many matches are not going to be appropriate. It is however possible to let the agency know that you would prefer a certain sex, and they can consider this when looking for the right situation for you.

What does the Adoptive Parent know about the Birthparents?

Adoptive parents are given medical and genetic information about birthparents as available. The birthparents have reported this information and it may be quite complete or it may be very slight. If the birthmother is a biological child herself and her parents are still together and supportive of and involved in the adoption, there may be extensive medical and genetic history available to the adoptive parents. If her mother is divorced and she has not seen her father since age 2, and they are both unaware of her pregnancy and placement, we are dependent on what she is aware of concerning family medical and genetic history. If the birthfather is involved we will hopefully have access to additional family members of his to give us a complete picture of his medical and genetic history. The bottom line is that the medical and genetic history picture is often less complete than we would optimally like it to be. Birthparents are often young enough with young parents themselves that their parents and grandparents are still in good health. We will attempt to explore and get concrete information on every medical condition identified.

Previous children of birthparents can give important information regarding the medical history of prior pregnancies as well as the medical and developmental histories of children of these birthparents.

If a birthfather is not involved, the adoptive parents should know all the details of the birthfathers knowledge of and intentions regarding the adoptive placement. Is he willing to sign papers waiving any rights he might have to the child? Will he provide medical and genetic background information? If he will not voluntarily sign papers waiving his rights, can he be found and served with the papers? Has he made any comments about wanting to parent the child? Is the birthmother able to identify the birthfather? Is there more than one possibility? Can she give the agency enough information to find him if his whereabouts are unknown to her? Will the agency need to publish on this birthfather to terminate his rights?

If the child's racial background has been misrepresented by birthparents, the adoptive parents are not obligated to accept that placement. None of their adoption fee would be lost under these circumstances.

Is there HIV, drug, and alcohol testing on the birthparents or the child?

When birthmothers first come to Adoption Access they are asked to go to the lab nearby and take a drug test. They are tested at this time for HIV, drug and alcohol. If they test positive for drugs, they are still accepted by the agency. We have a number of families who will accept this and we will continue to work with them. This is your decision. We will disclose all information we have to our adoptive parents.

How many Birthparent decide to parent their child?

At Adoption Access only 10 % of birthparents who are matched with adoptive parents decide to parent their child and not go through with the placement. For an adoption agency this is a great rate, but we know that if you are part of that 10%, it's 100% for you. Many more birthmothers than 10% do not go through with a placement, but that decision is made during counseling and a match is not made with adoptive parents. It is a very courageous and loving choice, and always a sacrifice for the birthparents.

We try to provide extensive counseling to our birthparents throughout the decision making process so that they will choose the plan that is right for them. We encourage them to explore their family and support systems for all their options. We discuss community resources that might be available to them if they should decide to parent. The counselor working with a particular birthmother will support her decision completely. As a social worker she must uphold the ethics of her profession and not attempt to influence her client. She is committed to helping the birthmother make the best possible plan for her child, whether that plan is to place or to parent. The counselor will not allow a birthmother to choose an adoptive family if she has serious concerns about her ability to place. She will tell the birthparents that the only thing she will ask of them is not to choose a family if they are not as sure as they are capable of being. She will tell them that the agency will not ask them to reimburse them for services provided by the agency. We do not want a placement decision based on fear of debt.

If a placement does not go through, the adoptive parents are not responsible for any expenses paid on their birthmother. Their adoption fee would all be available for the next match. They would become a priority family for the agency to match. The agency can protect you financially, but not as well emotionally. This is one of the risks of adoption that we can not altogether prevent, but we can minimize it.

More birthparents than ever before are choosing adoption as an alternative to an unplanned pregnancy. We know unplanned doesn't mean unloved. It takes a mature, responsible, and courageous person to make and go through with an adoption plan.

What services does Adoption Access, Inc. offer?

Adoption Access, Inc. is an adoption agency licensed by the State of Texas. We facilitate adoptions in every state except New York. Interstate Compact regulations prevent us from placing children in that state.

We provide services to adoptive parents that include education and facilitation of the approval process through Texas standards and the standards of the state of residence. Birthmothers come to the agency from many sources. We provide counseling for birthparents through the adoption process and facilitate matches with adoptive parents. We work with birthmothers of all ethnicities.

We provide medical services by a board certified OB/GYN for obstetrical care to birthmothers. Prenatal care is started immediately when a birthmother is accepted by the agency. We do accept birthmothers who test positive for drugs, but you do not have to accept this as an adoptive parent. We have a number of parents who are comfortable with some drug use, so we accept this. An adoptive parent may set any number of parameters about the match they are willing to accept. The broader the parameters, the larger the number of matches that are available to a family. It is important to set parameters with which you have a true comfort level.

Birthmothers are provided assistance as needed and as allowed by Texas licensing standards with the following: rent, utilities, groceries, prescriptions and personal hygiene products, transportation to counseling and medical appointments, and maternity clothes.

Counseling is the primary focus of Adoption Access, and is available to birthparents as long as they need it. Counseling is also offered to extended family members.

Adoptive parents are provided information about potential matches that fit their parameters, and a counselor will work with them to explore the possibilities. Medical and genetic background information is provided to the adoptive parents, and specifics of a match are shared, i.e. birthfather involvement, parental involvement, reasons for placement, etc. If the adoptive parent has been chosen by a birthparent, and the adoptive parent is comfortable with the background and specifics of this match, a meeting is normally arranged by the counselor.

Meetings between birthparents and adoptive parents are always done with the counselor present. They are normally done on a first name only basis. The counselor is there to protect confidentiality and to make everyone comfortable. Sometimes a birthmother will want an adoptive mother in delivery. We've even had adoptive dads cut the cord! It is strictly a personal decision on both sides.

After the placement there is not normally contact in person with birthparents. We do require that adoptive parents be willing to send pictures and letters through the agency for a minimum of eighteen years. Most birthmothers would like the option of sending their own pictures and letters to the adoptive family. Some have asked for a video of the child. We also do completely open adoptions in which there is ongoing physical contact. Most of our adoptions are semi-open, meaning only first names are shared, and contact is through pictures and letters for 18 years. The agency will facilitate ongoing correspondence.

All of the legal process for termination of biological parents' rights are provided for in the adoption fee. This includes all court and filing fees and all fees for attorneys.

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